Now Playing

(U)
Steam
The Ultimate DOOM: Thy Flesh Consumed

Updated about 1 day ago

(B)
Steam
The Ultimate DOOM: Inferno
WELCOME TO HELL! WE'RE GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU GOOD! I'm actually having to use my punch quite a bit down here. Ammo is just SCARCE.

Updated about 1 day ago

(U)
Steam
Age of Empires II: Definitive Edition
Well they overhauled this didn't they?

Updated about 1 month ago

(U)
Steam
Bastion
More hack and slashy then I imagined.

Updated about 1 month ago

(-)
BNet
Overwatch 2 Ownership: Other
Really just an expansion pack with rekijiggered unlock mechanics. Battle passes are stupid. You will never get me to give you a dime.

Updated about 2 months ago

☆★★★★
(U)
Wii
Xenoblade Chronicles
[Swamp] I'm inside the Bionis now? Did I just enter it's ass?

Updated about 2 months ago

AlucardsFate's Status

(U) Unfinished ?No significant accomplishments.     (B) Beaten ?The main objective has been accomplished. Usually marked by the defeat of a final boss and/or viewing of credits.     (C) Completed ?For games which are 100% done. All extras and modes have been unlocked and finished. All significant items have been collected.
413 (U)
  297 Unplayed  
71.9% of Unfinished
33.5% of Total
46.6%
412 (B)
46.4%
62 (C)
7%
Wishlist  27 ?         Top-Rated  129 ?????         Master Runs  1 (M)
PlayStation 4 11 (U) 13 (B) 0 (C) 24 Total
Switch Downloads 7 (U) 4 (B) 0 (C) 11 Total
Nintendo Switch 13 (U) 23 (B) 2 (C) 38 Total
Virtual Console (WiiU) 4 (U) 2 (B) 0 (C) 6 Total
Wii U Downloads 13 (U) 4 (B) 0 (C) 18 Total
Wii U 4 (U) 14 (B) 1 (C) 21 Total
3DS Downloads 6 (U) 4 (B) 0 (C) 10 Total
Virtual Console (3DS) 3 (U) 1 (B) 1 (C) 5 Total
Nintendo 3DS 5 (U) 6 (B) 0 (C) 11 Total
Virtual Console (Wii) 3 (U) 7 (B) 1 (C) 13 Total
WiiWare 3 (U) 6 (B) 0 (C) 9 Total
Wii 12 (U) 41 (B) 1 (C) 54 Total
Nintendo DS 9 (U) 9 (B) 3 (C) 21 Total
GameCube 8 (U) 12 (B) 0 (C) 20 Total
Game Boy Advance 5 (U) 7 (B) 2 (C) 15 Total
Game Boy/Color 2 (U) 1 (B) 0 (C) 3 Total
SNES 10 (U) 10 (B) 5 (C) 25 Total
Game Boy BEAT 2 (B) 2 (C) 4 Total
NES 7 (U) 9 (B) 12 (C) 29 Total
Dreamcast 15 (U) 10 (B) 1 (C) 26 Total
Sega CD 29 (U) 0 (B) 0 (C) 29 Total
Game Gear 2 (U) 1 (B) 0 (C) 3 Total
Genesis / Mega Drive 22 (U) 4 (B) 1 (C) 27 Total
PlayStation Network 19 (U) 8 (B) 2 (C) 31 Total
PlayStation 3 12 (U) 36 (B) 0 (C) 49 Total
PlayStation Portable 8 (U) 13 (B) 7 (C) 28 Total
PlayStation 2 27 (U) 33 (B) 9 (C) 69 Total
PSOne Classics 5 (U) 0 (B) 0 (C) 5 Total
PlayStation 32 (U) 18 (B) 7 (C) 57 Total
Xbox 8 (U) 6 (B) 0 (C) 14 Total
Epic Games Launcher 5 (U) 2 (B) 0 (C) 7 Total
Steam 84 (U) 81 (B) 2 (C) 173 Total
Origin 1 (U) 0 (B) 0 (C) 2 Total
GOG.com 13 (U) 4 (B) 0 (C) 17 Total
Battle.Net 0 (U) 0 (B) 0 (C) 2 Total
PC 6 (U) 21 (B) 3 (C) 39 Total
All Games 915 Total
?Use this field to quickly search your backlog. If you enter in a single letter, you'll get a list of all the games you own that start with that letter.
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about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
Wait, north to east!? You ever see a strange guy in there? Head of a bull? Carrying a big axe? Sounds like the kind of place they'd build to keep him from getting out. Sounds like a pretty wild place; I almost want to fly out to Colorado just to see it.

Oooo, yeah the network thing is a pain in the ass; the eye doctor I saw on Saturday wasn't in network, and I don't even want to say what I spent on lenses and frames for the 2 of us... Hard to find doctors that are trustworthy, too; I've seen WAY too much in my time in the medical industry.
about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
I didn't know that there was an American version of Iron Chef, but I still know your words to be true, because it's always the same story: I saw a thing and I liked the thing and I made my own version of the thing that sucks because I don't understand the thing, and I'll brush off my critics by calling it "The thing... with a twist!" People love twists! Yeah, that's because they pulled a Ghost Stories. I'm not really into anime, but that's one I highly recommend, because the dub is BATSHIT INSANE.

That's almost like Fear Factor, except WAY more entertaining; I can't get into the girl screaming and freaking out because she has to put her hands into a pit of bugs thing, but that roach contest is just weird enough to be entertaining.

Oh, so they went that route with her. I didn't see the new movies, but my lady did; she said the first one was totally badass until they pulled some love and friendship bullshit at the end. She was watching a lot of the DC movies for a while there, and apparently, the Justice League movie went with the whole Death and Return of Superman arc, and it was apparently very good... until Joss Whedon went in and totally fucked everything up; the shit she was saying he changed and added were so awful that even I knew they were dead wrong. Guess it's only fitting, since they really fucked up the Carnage movie, too, and I remember those being the two big competing comic book events back in the '90s. They even both got video games, the former being made by Blizzard, of all companies, and the latter having music from Green Jelly.

Last time I was in a library was to do some research on Zoroastrianism and Chinese Mythology for a Shin Megami Tensei fangame I was helping out with; I wrote over 400 entries for the damn thing, and the project went belly-up. Oh well. Anyway, before that was... college, maybe? Hell of a long time ago. If Yakuza has taught me anything, that's fairly accurate; I still don't completely know what the idol thing is all about, but it's been a damn long time since I was into any kind of pop music, so that doesn't help.
about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
Or Robocop; the first film was a satire on violent action flicks in the US, and when they came to him for a sequel he said, "You want to PAY me to tell the Americans that they're stupid TO THEIR FACE? No problem; maybe someday we'll make a Terminator crossover or some shit." Don't know if that was a movie, but it definitely was a game.

Well, how many fuckin' albums did Tupac put out after he'd died? Yeah, there's going to be some unreleased music, but shit kept coming out for years and years; hardest-working dead guy in the music industry. Huh huh... ghost written. Although, I wonder if that's what the term originally meant.

That's a really good point: how many of them were still around in 2009? I'm also still really curious as to why there exists a Blockbuster when all the others have closed. I'm sure there's some weird story behind it.

I'm not sure I remember that, but I saw the movie only once, and that was 25 years ago; I remember the battle on Hoth, mostly because I played it so damn many times in Shadows of the Empire (now non-canon lol), and that the cloud city exists, but not much else. Well, I don't know about nobody; Kiss did pretty well, selling everything from Gene Simmons tongue vibrators to fucking COFFINS that you were supposed to use as a coffee table while you were still alive. THAT is some fuckin' marketing!

Something like that, yeah; I'm going to keep referring to things as "My glorious vision," but throw in just enough of a smirk to make people wonder whether I'm being a smartass or just completely out of my fucking mind. Keep them wondering; that's what's considered genius these days. That or making references to things that nerds like; it worked for Big Bang Theory.

Really!? I would've sworn that every single one of them had a Loaded game on them. Oh, I can answer that one easily: making you work for the secret demo made it seem more exciting, and with that positive mindset, you were more likely to enjoy the demo and then buy the game. Sneaky and maybe manipulative, but I'll bet it worked to some degree or another. 2012, huh? Pretty progressive for its time; that was at least 3 wacko doomsday theories ahead of where we would've been back then. I could never really get into Twisted Metal, and I think it's one of those things like Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, where my brain just isn't wired for it. Of course, I suck at racing, so I'm sure that doesn't help.
about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
The first one did reasonably well, I think, so there was a little buzz around the release of 2, but nobody really talked about it much, and 3 and Genesis were such a big surprise just because I went in knowing nothing about them; they're like late-NES Mega Man sequels. But yes, at the very least, the first 2 are good throw-backs to older gameplay styles, kinda like the Ys series is.

I can definitely vouch for that; my PSP has absolute SHIT for battery life, and I'm sure that whenever I pick it back up again, it's going to require several hours of charging before I can play it. Not that I even have much for it, now that PSOne Classics have "expired"; that was money well-spent... Oh, that old chestnut... "We made infinity billion dollars on this item, but it did not meet sales expectations." Squenix likes to pull that shit, now, too.

Hey, just watched the U Can Beat Video Games video on Castlevania 3 yesterday; apparently, there's some kind of BONKERS-ASS warp to the end of the game from the marsh stage? Konami had the best Engrish on the NES; my personal favorite still remains, "OH NO THE TRUCK HAVE STARTED TO MOVE" from Metal Gear.

I do also find it hilarious that the word, murderous, was used to describe an Archie comic, but... why would he have to work together with Archie to track down and kill a criminal? That'd be like having me team up with my dad to bake cookies; all he knows how to make is black-burnt toast.

That's what Charlie thought, too...

I don't know if it's based on anything or not, but that title is Grade A anime bullshit; no mistaking it. I do try to keep up with new games, and what I do is check SteamGifts, GOG, itch, and Humble daily, and Epic once a week (small library, but they give out free shit), and that lets me in on some of the smaller-to-middle-size indie games and stuff; the major releases will be shoved down my throat at all times, so I don't have to worry about them. DOOD HAVE YOO HERD ABOUT GOTHAM NITES!!! Yes, many times today, even; thanks, ads. Yeah, you're right; stop making so much porn, Japan! ...or don't; that's fine, too...
about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
I also went to second grade in the US, and they taught us that shit! Nobody had a hard time with it, either; after teaching us what they were, every single person in that classroom was able to give their own examples. I know we're not Arkansas or Florida or anything, but I don't imagine Pennsylvania has great public schools. They do also teach how to not be poor: study hard and work hard and you'll be a billionaire, just like Jeff Bezos; if you're poor, then you're just not working hard enough. Already have 3 jobs? THEN GET A FOURTH ONE, YOU LAZY FUCK! What do you MEAN there are only 24 hours in a day!?

Bastion doesn't do a whole lot new, but it is polished to Hell and back. I did also like how sneaky it was about teaching you how to master your weapons with those weird training exercises; through finishing those, I became an expert with every single one... except the mortar, which is trash. Transistor is definitely deeper and more intricate on a gameplay level, and in my opinion, a better game. I do like some top-down games, and in fact, my all-time favorite NES game (Esper Dream 2) is top-down; it's just that there are a lot of games that do it badly, or at least badly for me. I don't think so? It's also on Epic, so I don't think it's an exclusivity deal; it's just one of those weird things, like how Costume Quest is fucking everywhere, but the sequel is only on Steam and Epic, for some reason.

For fuck's sake, even Action Man: Search for Base X has better cover art than that, though I guess that's because the name is so dollar store coloring book that the box art couldn't handle it.

I bought that remake for $2, and I still felt kinda ripped off. It's too platforming-heavy for mouse and keyboard, but still too much of a Shooter to play with a controller (I need my mouselook), so it just didn't really work that well. It's kinda baffling, because Devil May Cry 4 did the grapply thing pretty well, and that game sucked! I did know that at least the writing was going to be bad when I played Marvel vs. Capcom 3, and one of Spencer's victory quotes was something like, "Super Joe... the man's an absolute disgrace..." Lolwut. But that was back when everything had to be GRITTY GRIMDARK WITH LOTS OF PLOT TWISTS REMAKE FOR A MODERN AUDIENCE; looking back at the Seventh Generation, it was a really bad time for games in general.
about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
I do really hate that DS remake; it took a game that had lovely progression and some cool narrative quirks and just shit in its mouth. It's like some terrible fangame made by fans who have NO FUCKING IDEA what made the original good, and it's filled to the brim with all the worst fucking writing techniques of its era (things that caused a pretty nasty breakup between myself and JRPGs) and dumb shit like, "Onyun Nite is ultimit worror!" just in case its lack of understanding wasn't enough already, and the knife needed to be further twisted. Also, it's ugly. Actually, those problems with 13 seem similar to the remake of 3: interesting things it doesn't want to focus on and useless summons... only with the conjurer class, but still, even Maeson Mix couldn't make them good.

Oh, so like one of those automation games, except with a plot and characters I'm supposed to care about. I guess it's an interesting idea; I just think I'd hate actually playing it.

Hey now, Goofy is the best shieldmaiden I've ever seen in a game! Granted, he's the only one thus far, since I haven't picked up Shieldmaiden Remix on Steam, but still! Oh wait, shit... Captain America. Okay, well second-best at least. Did I miss something there? That sounds kinda pointless to have "guest" characters in a game where you don't control even your main characters.

I was going to check out the first 2 Persona games at one point, but in the end, I'd just decided that I've permanently had enough of ATLUS's shit when it comes to demon conversation; the novelty has more than worn off at this point, and I can see it for the tedious pray-to-RNG-zuz bullshit that it is. I guess the later games don't have that, but it all revolves around balancing your social life against the game part of the fucking game, so that's still a hard pass from me. But yeah, I guess there's stuff like that, but Dragon Warrior had group-targeting instant death attacks as early as the second game, too. Thing about Shin Megami Tensei is that unlike those, you could build a party that's immune to them, if you pay enough attention.

AHA! But you still have a passive interest! That means we still have a deal and I still own your immortal soul! Please stand 6 feet in front of me, so I can whip you against this giant contract to leave a you-shaped blood stain on the signature line. Why yes, Jedah is my main in Darkstalkers; why do you ask?
about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
That's great to hear! I... yeah, that's a good way to describe it; it's like a small city, but the city planner is only 3 years old or something. That's also great to hear! Nothing like making a living wage to make you feel better about buying food to make more than just ham and drywall sandwiches.

They really do have the best gameshows; I used to love watching Iron Chef and Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.

That is some MEGA-MAN-LEVEL "We've been out of ideas for a while, but let's keep going" shit right there, damn! Still pretty amusing as a joke character. I hope she's a joke character.

I just remember that from when my sister was really into manga; the only ones I read were a few issues of Inu Yasha that my lady talked me into. Yeah, that's the sort of thing you google from a library kiosk or whatever the computing equivalent of a payphone would be. Makes me wonder how the actual sickos get away with it they way they do. The ones that aren't rich assholes, anyway; they always do what they want.

That's how I feel about the new Matrix movie: my lady watched it yesterday, and apparently, the studio just said, "We're making a new Matrix movie, with or without you," probably because the world loves Keanu Reeves right now. The whole movie is a gigantic fuck you to WB and how the movie shouldn't ever exist in the first place, and it'd be hilarious, if it weren't so sad, and if WB even cared, because this shit is gonna sell anyway. I mean, Roger Ebert is dead; do film critics even exist anymore?
about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
I don't know, but if there was, it would've been the '90s; can't imagine any other time it could've been. Kiddie City might've been a local(ish) thing; been a long time since I set foot in a toy store. Might've been when KB were selling SMS games for $5 and the system for $25. I'm not sure I've ever seen that thing before...

They're stupid easy to make, too: 1 cup peanut butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, 1 egg, mix that shit and bake at tree fiddy for 8-10 minutes. I also make peanut butter dog biscuits, but they have no sugar, so the dough is... trying that was a mistake. 🤢

Did they not play Doom? Shit was MADE of jump scares, especially when you were low on ammo. My brain doesn't actually process fear, so I struggle to think of a good example; the first Amnesia got super uncomfortable, but not until the last hour and a half or so. SHIT I GOT ONE SUPER METROID! There's that part where Crocomire sinks into the lava and his FUCKING FLESH BOILS OFF, and when you get to the other side of the room, his MOTHERFUCKING SKELETON BREAKS DOWN THE GODDAMN WALL AT YOU. Hell of a lot scarier than a goddamn dog.

Right? We already know he's into redheads; it could totally work. The series finale probably ends something like Thelma and Louise. I should be in charge of making TV shows; they'd be weird as shit, but they'd at least be something different.

More like Zelda post-Apocalypse, plus half a dozen other games thrown in the blender with it. The first one is Zelda and God of War and Banjo-Kazooie and Super Metroid probably and Mega Man X... and Portal. The second one is Zelda and Devil May Cry and Diablo and Prince of Persia and Mega Man X... and Portal. The third game, which I just finished, is Bayonetta and Dark Souls and Super Metroid and Devil May Cry and the first Darksiders and Actraiser 2 and a splash of Zelda 2... no Portal this time. Just started Genesis, and it looks like Diablo and Oldschool Zelda and Banjo-Kazooie and Loaded (if you had a Playstation, you know; everybody had a Demo disc with this, Cool Boarders, Jet Moto, Intelligent Qube, Tomb Raider, and probably some form of Armored Core on it), but I've only finished the first chapter. So yeah, the series doesn't do much new, but it takes some of the best games and throws them together into something so damn polished it's shooting lasers at the goddamn sun.
about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
I almost got one instead of a PSP, until I found out that it wasn't backwards compatible... or it was, except you had to buy all of the games twice and go through some insane bullshit to play them, and even then you just get most of them, especially if you're like me, and like the weird offbeat shit. More times than the original Star Fox has been retold, but a smaller percentage, because of HOW MANY FUCKING CASTLEVANIA GAMES THERE ARE HOLY SHIT. The funny thing is that none of them have much story to them, for how many retellings there are.

I guess? I'd have to check the dates and see if a Marvel vs. Capcom game came out around that time. Maybe not a ridiculous crossover, so much as an obtuse one; one that you squint at for a while before eventually saying, "Oh, I get it. I think I'll have a snack." You should've posted those in reverse order; Eminem couldn't possibly top Archie as a Punisher crossover. What the FUCK. Corporate flexes are weird.

Or even more generic: Adventure. Just a single genre as the name. I'm hoping to get Sport for the Magnavox Odyssey someday.

Shit, you telling me I missed out on a good side hustle? And here my ass is baking dog biscuits from scratch, like a sucker... Well, my friend, Charlie, found one of those when we were young, probably somewhere on the edge of being teenagers, I'd guess. Let me tell you something: you do NOT watch the tape; some mysteries are best left unsolved. Funny story: that came up at work several jobs ago, and my best friend and I blurted that out simultaneously; I don't know what her horror porn VHS story was, but after what I'd seen, I can't even imagine.

No. I've read enough reviews on Amazon; I don't need to see that shit, literal or otherwise.

Simple is good; I don't need to be performing calculus ballet with my hands on a damn control pad just to play a game. I also don't need to devote several months of my life to learning hundreds of possible combinations for dozens of different characters. Give me something I can pick up and play. Uhh... let me see... Under Night In-Birth Exe:Late[cl-r]. Rolls right off the tongue. Maybe I'll wait for the next version, which should be called something like Under Night In-Birth Exe:Late[cl-r]: My Quesadilla is a Volcano That Wants to Marry my Yandere Futanari: Shimapan Paizuri Edition. Yeah, I know: too much of my Japanese vocabulary is porn...
about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
It's this Hawaiian milk cap game where... nah, fucked if I know; I watched a Dose of Buckley video that had a kid with a speech balloon saying, "This shit is not poggers AT ALL!" Without that context, I'd have assumed it was some kind of British slang meaning... red? I don't know. That must be refreshing; my new position seems like it's more casual, too, though since it's remote, it isn't super easy to tell. All I know is that I'm working with people who were super professional with me in my last role, and now, they'll let shits (and the occasional fuck) fly like it's nothing. I try to cut down on corrections, because I don't want to be an insufferable bitch, but there's some shit I just can't let fly, like when people fuck up homonyms because they didn't go to second grade, or at least I assume.

I have kind of the opposite thing going on in my family: if they want to confront someone about something, they'll just use me as a meat shield, and since I have a reputation (only partially deserved) for being a brutally honest, no bullshit ogre of a woman, nobody ever questions it. I wind up looking like the asshole, but I've really stopped giving any kind of a fuck after this many years of it. That and I have the bonus that almost nobody in the family bitches to me, because they don't want to hear what I have to say about it.

I love the surreal edge of Hotline Miami, but top-down gameplay is always very hit-or-miss for me, and it looks like a huge miss. Pyre is absolutely gorgeous, but I just couldn't keep myself playing. Where Bastion and Transistor take more conventional genres and twist and warp them almost as much as they add to them, Pyre was just kinda... soccer? But less? Also had kind of a Visual Novel thing going on, I guess. I played pretty far into it, but it just wasn't doing it for me; even the soundtrack wasn't all that interesting. I'm really excited to try Hades, though; just wish it would come to GOG, like the other Supergiant titles.

Rearmed is the remake of the original, yes; the 3D reboot is confusingly just named Bionic Commando, BECAUSE THAT'S A GREAT ENDURING NAMING CONVENTION THAT WE SHOULD JUST KEEP USING FOREVER. Anyway, if the original Bionic Commando isn't ball-busting enough for you, I'd recommend Elite Forces for Game Boy Color; it has kind of an MS Paint aesthetic at times, but you will REALLY put those swinging skills to the test!
about 1 month ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
That's kind of a weird thing to throw into a JRPG, especially a Final Fantasy game. Not bad, necessarily, but I'd rather have that kind of shit woven into the narrative. SMOOTHLY. If you're just going to stop your forward motion to lecture me about how Death Mountain is whateverwhatever, then just give me a damn log so I can do it at my own pace or not at all. If you're going to show me what Death Mountain is all about with ruins or the result of millennia of historical events, then we're talking. But yes, that old chestnut... well, new chestnut, I guess, where everything is SUPER focused on characters, and everything else is left to wither. Final Fantasy used to understand that; just look at how 3 was about 4 NPCs and how they shaped the world, and how the protagonists basically don't even matter, because it's not their story. Could've been a twig, a button, a loosened tooth, and a clump of dirt, and it wouldn't have made a difference, and it STILL would've been more interesting than what we got in the DS remake.

Turn-based menu-based; menus and real-time are shit that don't mix. The more I hear about Final Fantasy 12's battle system, the less it makes sense to me. I just prefer shit I can actually control, whether it's real-time or turn-based; I have no faith in AI, so if it gets a modicum of autonomy, I usually just flip a table and storm out. The occasional AI character is acceptable, but it still pisses me off; Lufia 2 comes to mind. Rogue Galaxy is cool; I love different-colored weapons and shit, and it has that in spades. I know the feeling, though; I have so many games I'm stoked to play, and so fucking long before I can really get to them.

Maybe that's why I have no idea what the hell's so hard about them: I've been doing that since Final Fantasy 1... well, I've been trying to do that since Final Fantasy 1; I don't think elementals actually work in that, because the damn thing's buggier than a street dog. Of course, I also don't understand why that's hard because Pokeymanz does it, too. Iunno, damn kids and their video games, I guess. Maybe we'll find out when Squenix rereleases Rudra no Hihou.

"Mother Kojiro lived to be a very old bat, until one day, she just exploded, showering the entire village with rainbow fire." You investigate Taro, and I'll keep investigating the Darksiders series; we'll divide and conquer... assuming you have any interest in Darksiders.
about 2 months ago

Badges
Right Hand of Bak'laag: 1000+ unfinished games
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Invincible: 10+ beat or complete in a row
Confused: Playing 10+ games at once
Have you seen that DS Sailor Moon game? I put the patched file on my DS flash cart to check it out, even if it's one of those "more uninteresting" sounding Sailor Moon games like the 3DO/Saturn/SNES fighters, the PCE CD VN, and that quiz game.
about 3 months ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
I would absolutely LOVE to be a commentator or even just hear one. "Well, Bob, it looks like he's going for the lingham method; clearly, he's looking to go the distance!" Their tone and expression gradually intensifies, building to an emphatic, "GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!" just as he blows it. Closest I'd ever get to that is something that a few bars have called porn karaoke, where they put a porn movie on mute, and people step up to the mic and say horrible things to make everyone laugh.

Indeed! If only they'd put some of that money into the quality of the education that goes on there; I've known some Parkland graduates, and they weren't any better educated than I was.

I don't remember what the main character's name is, but if I recall correctly, cotton is the name of her favorite candy (though oddly, it is not cotton candy; they're little wrapped things), and the point of the games is usually to score some, like it's drugs. Now, I have a fairly unreasonable sweet tooth for someone my age, but that girl is ADDICTED.

Oh, different friend, I guess. Guess it wouldn't be so bad having a weird rich friend that likes to make me clothing; I'd probably get something not tacky and absurd every once in a while. Probably save a lot of money on panties, too; that shit is EXPENSIVE! DAMN, that is some impressive graphic work! I never played anything on a Dreamcast, so I keep forgetting how good some of it looks.

Listen: it's a world run by men, and that means in ALL communities; naturally, they got better gaydar than we did. Right wing media is only misleading you, and that's not technically libel.
about 3 months ago

Badges
Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
Hm... that was kind of a popular time for windsurfing, wasn't it? Early-to-mid-'90s? Maybe that's where they were going with it. Also could be that they had enough leftover parts from the last toy commercial kids' cartoon that it'd be easy to cheaply put together some windsurfing equipment. I don't remember when they closed, now that you mention it, but probably well after Kiddie City.

Cake is alright; I sure wouldn't go out of my way for it. Some might blame that on my being able to just make one from scratch whenever I want, but that's never stopped me from storming downstairs in the middle of the night and whipping up a batch of peanut butter cookies at 2am because QUEEN BITCH DEMANDS SNACKRIFICE, so I don't think it's that. Anyway, anything can be scary if you put it in the right context.

Guess I was just the wrong age. Same as that fucking dog jumping through the window in Resident Evil that nobody ever shuts the fuck up about. Can't imagine what would've happened to them if they'd played Parasite Eve.

Because Fred Flintstone is a bottom; he knows that the bottom is always the one who's really in control of the relationship, same as Lucy. Sure, she gets scolded all the time, but she still gets to do whatever she wants with no major consequences. What else could Fred even do, but make fun of Desi's goofy laugh. They'd swap wives, but Fred and Lucy would never get anything done, and Desi and Wilma would fucking kill each other.

Gallons of blood isn't mature at all, unless it's splashing all over a pair of DDs; didn't you know? What's a big fucking slice of anime tiddy without a little sauce, after all? That's what makes Darksiders so silly: your key is some kind of stylized katar that you thrust into a floating demon eye that just turns into an absolute BLOOD TSUNAMI for a few seconds, but no titties. Rated E for Everyone.

Okay, methodical I can see; that makes a kind of sense to me. Kinda like 3D Zelda, right? If you go into it, expecting ACTUAL 3D and a world designed around that, you have little more than a flaming trash heap, but if you see it more as a movement puzzle, it becomes easier to swallow? Well, aside from Wind Waker; Wind Waker don't give a fuck if you want to get to that platform over there in a manner other than the most tedious way possible.
about 3 months ago

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Backlog Beaten: August 21, 2014
Backlog Completed: September 27, 2014
Master of Unlocking: Majority of games are completed
Treasure Hunter: 1000+ games
Focus: Only playing one game
Hey now, sound was always built into the motherboard; remember those shrill beeps and boops that made you think your machine was about to burst into flames? Maybe some game trying to play Mary Had a Little Lamb with it or something?

Weren't they trying to catch their handhelds up to console hardware, though, and then kinda did with the Vita before trying to bury it AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH? In fact, Castlevania is sometimes even the same story; how many times have we retold Simon Belmont's trip into the castle by now?

The SNES port has a fucking UNREAL soundtrack; I'm still getting over how it sounds. But is it as good as the Brazilian SEGA Genesis (well, Mega Drive, I guess) port of Duke 3D? Asking the real questions. Okay, so it's not just me? Mortal Kombat just never felt any good to me at all. Well, I didn't mean to suggest that Pepsi is bad; just that Mortal Kombat vs. DC was the game that absolutely nobody was asking for.

I keep forgetting that Race Drivin' is a 3D title, because it's such an inelegant and nondescript title; it often makes me picture something like Off-Road: The Baja.

She has a fucking app that tracks what sets she has and whether they're complete, and I think even what parts are missing. They're in plastic bags with labels as to what they are, and then they go in big plastic containers. Well, she is intelligent, but I don't know if it's because of LEGOs; she also reads a lot, which is supposed to make you a better speller, and I don't know anyone who reads more or spells worse than she does. That's one way of doing it, though I'd assume that the quadrilateral shape was because it was the original Playstation, and EVERYTHING was that shape, because it couldn't handle a decent polygon count in much of anything.

Everyone has their own electromagnetic field; mine's just a little stronger than the norm. Unfortunately, my related superpower is to make clocks in my vicinity slow down over long periods of time; it's even less impressive than my inability to shoot rainbow deathbolts from a cello with my synaesthesia. I can operate my tablet reasonably well, but its touchscreen is entirely kinetic; the thin cord for my headphones can cause my music to skip ahead when they touch the screen. Also, what I'm doing with so many VCRs is classified.
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